


Distract and Forget

by desparikon



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M, drugged!Murdoc, poor Mac likes Murdoc but hates himself for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 16:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18196718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desparikon/pseuds/desparikon
Summary: A drugged Murdoc is easy to transport. Unfortunately, it leaves time for Mac to reflect on his feelings for him.





	Distract and Forget

In hindsight, injecting Murdoc with the _unknown_ drug he'd been carrying was probably not the most responsible decision, but at the time, Mac was just grateful for Jack's quick reaction.

At least Matty hadn't seemed to mind. They'd had no idea Murdoc was going to be there (and luckily for them, Murdoc was just as surprised), so capturing him was automatically a success. Wanting to act quickly, she'd called in a favor to have them immediately flown back to the Phoenix on a private plane. Ideally, Murdoc would sleep through the whole trip. No interference, no escape artistry, no creepy stories. This really was the best way to transport Murdoc.

Or not.

Mac hadn't been able to concentrate the whole time they'd been on the plane. Several hours had gone by since Murdoc had been drugged, but he was no more responsive than when he'd first collapsed. He hadn't shown any indication of waking up anytime soon. He hadn't even moved. He didn't act like he was asleep, he acted like he was under anesthesia. Whatever that syringe was full of packed one hell of a punch.

The irrational part of Mac's brain made sure to remind him that Murdoc could be dead before they got back home, considering he already looked it. Mac willed Murdoc to wake up. He desperately needed the distraction from his thoughts.

 

Mac could watch as much as he wanted, do whatever he wanted, and Murdoc would never know. It was like watching a wild animal from a hunting blind. So much power. Mac could feel his heart pounding, and the excitement pulse through his veins. God, what a rush.

He couldn't wait for Murdoc to wake up. Mac was going to look him dead in the eyes and make sure he knew that Mac had been merciful by not acting on any of his thoughts. Seeing the fear in Murdoc's eyes from the realization that Mac was not as innocent as he'd thought was going to be one of the best moments in Mac's life. Payback for all of the misery he'd caused to Mac and his friends.

 

Mac's excitement flipped to anxiety as he remembered that he wasn't the only other person on the plane. He turned around to check on Jack. He still had his headphones in and was watching a movie on a tablet.

He slid down in his seat and tried to calm down. He couldn't let Jack see him like this. As guilty as he felt, he knew that if Jack took one look at him, he'd know exactly what Mac was thinking. And he'd hate Mac for it.

Mac knew deep down that he didn't actually want to do terrible things to Murdoc. He just wanted to forget. Forbidden feelings. Feelings that were _wrong_ and could never be acted on because then everyone would know that Mac has been permanently corrupted. How could he ever defend himself for having feelings for someone like Murdoc?

 

Movement on the edge of his vision drew his attention back to Murdoc. He was still in the same position, so Mac thought he'd just imagined it until one of Murdoc's legs twitched a few seconds later. His leg twitched a few more times before he stretched out and slowly moved onto his stomach.

Mac felt bad as he watched Murdoc make multiple attempts to push himself up off the floor. His arms trembled as they tried to support his weight. They buckled and he flopped back down as he grumbled under his breath. Only when he got one of his knees under himself as leverage did he manage to get himself into an awkward lounging position so he could use his feet to push himself against the side of the nearest seat. After shifting so his back was against it, he let his eyes close and his head fall back. After letting his breathing stabilize, he reopened his eyes.

Mac's breath caught in his throat.

The glaze.

Murdoc was awake, but he was definitely not fully there.

Dizziness quickly overwhelmed him when he tried to look around. He squeezed his eyes shut, and pressed a palm into his forehead as he panted slightly. His brain hadn't seemed to register his surroundings.

The sound of the chain clinking attracted his attention down to his left wrist and the handcuff around it. He held it up to get a better look before dropping it in his lap and huffing in displeasure at having been captured.

Mac couldn't stop the fond smile that spread across his face. He never thought he'd use 'adorable' to describe Murdoc, but... He seemed much smaller without his coat; it added bulk, but Mac guessed it was the psychological aspect of it making Murdoc look the part of dangerous assassin. His eyes were softened by exhaustion, and lacked their usual intensity, even as he halfheartedly directed a glare at his handcuffed wrist. Some of his hair had fallen into his face, adding to his disheveled appearance. He could almost forget what Murdoc was capable of when he was like this.

Mac's curiosity was piqued as Murdoc brought his right arm into his lap and began pushing his shirt sleeve up. He hissed quietly at the feeling of skin-to-skin contact. The delay the drug was still causing was obvious as Murdoc's unfocused gaze fell on his bare arm. He seemed to be mentally stuck until he idly moved his other hand along his inner arm. That got his attention real quick. His eyes flew shut, and he curled into himself as the muscles in his arms tensed. He grit his teeth as he tried to hold in pained noises. It wasn't until Murdoc's hand stopped at the bend of his arm that Mac understood what he was doing.

He was looking for the IV.

When Murdoc began to roll the sleeve up on his left arm, Mac shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He'd seen things that were much worse, so he didn't know why this was making him so...frantic? Squeamish? He wasn't even sure.

All he knew was that he had the irrational urge to scream that there is no IV because of course Murdoc was going to do it again. Was the drug making him stupid enough to not expect the same reaction?? Apparently PAIN is preferable to trusting his own eyes.

Mac steeled himself as he waited for Murdoc to repeat the motion on this arm, but Murdoc was currently preoccupied with the two extra large band aids wrapped around the side of his forearm. His expression turned suspicious as he ran his fingertips over them.

Mac probably should've removed them when he'd noticed them earlier. Murdoc has no shortage of tricks, so Mac wouldn't put it past him to hide something under band aids as large as these under guise of injury.

Well, it didn't matter much now; Murdoc was in no condition to be an escape artist.

He must've remembered that he'd had those before being drugged because he ran his hand past them as he checked the rest of that arm. Mac tensed as he watched Murdoc's reaction mirror his previous one. At least Murdoc wouldn't be doing _that_ anymore.

 

Mac realized with horror that Murdoc now knew that he'd been captured and drugged, but there was no IV to pull out, no way to cut off the supply and stop the drug's course. He at least had that awareness.

He wondered if fear had hit. Murdoc probably had experience with this kind of situation, but does experience overpower instinct? Isn't it terrifying on an instinctual level to be captured and held in an unknown location by unknown enemies, all while dealing with an uncooperative body?

Fortunately, a drawn-out, aggravated groan caught his attention, stopping him from having to go too far down that line of thinking. Mac could see Murdoc distantly glaring as he pushed his hair out of his face. He sighed after a few moments and pushed off the seat, letting himself flop onto his side. His eyes fluttered shut soon after. He was out.

 

Now that he was no longer distracted, Mac's brain was free to torture him again.

There was no happy ending for them, especially not for Murdoc.

Best case, he spent the rest of his life in prison. At least Mac could theoretically visit him.

But Mac knew that it was most likely for Murdoc to die. Sooner, rather than later. If he escaped, there was an infinite amount of ways for him to die while on the run. Although, being in custody still didn't ensure his survival. He could be killed in prison, executed by the state, or traded off to some foreign government, organization, or criminal to be tortured, since there was no shortage of people he'd pissed off.

 

The world would've been a better place if Murdoc had never existed, but Mac's own life wouldn't, despite all of the suffering Murdoc had brought. He's selfish for not wanting Murdoc dead, but death is final. Thinking too much about that fact alone threatened to send Mac into a panic.

He needed to escape. The plane was too small. He didn't want to think about his mortality, or Murdoc's, or the finality of death. He needed to pace, build something, scream, cry. Anything to distract himself.

The world, their lives, their relationship...

If only things were different.


End file.
